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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27283381">Love is an ever-fixed mark</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlyKing/pseuds/SlyKing'>SlyKing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Good Omens Soulmates AU (english) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awkwardness, Aziraphale's Name is Ezra (Good Omens), But here it's: You go too fast for me Ezra, Crowley's Name is Anthony (Good Omens), Human Aziraphale (Good Omens), Human Crowley (Good Omens), Introspection, Jealousy, M/M, No beta we fall like Crowley, Quote: You go too fast for me Crowley (Good Omens), Reincarnation, Soulmates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:00:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27283381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlyKing/pseuds/SlyKing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The evening promised to be exquisite. Yet, while they were looking at the menu, he felt a little guilty. As he approached Ezra, Anthony felt that he had made a mistake, that he had touched with his finger a light that was a little too bright, a little too strong, a happiness that he had never considered. Something else held his enthusiasm too. A form of sadness, of pain, which took hold of him at the most unexpected moments when he spent time with Ezra. He couldn’t explain it, but it scared him. </p><p>-</p><p>In this Alternative Universe, Aziraphale and Crowley are soulmates; they reincarnate at different times and always find each other. </p><p>You can read their first meeting here : <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25885189">You are my better half</a> But it’s not necessary to understand. ;)<br/>Do not hesitate to give me a feedback, it'll make me very happy! Enjoy your reading! &lt;3</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale &amp; Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Good Omens Soulmates AU (english) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783558</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Love is an ever-fixed mark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>Love is not love<br/>
Which alters when it alteration finds,<br/>
Or bends with the remover to remove.<br/>
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark<br/>
That looks on tempests and is never shaken</em>
  </p>
  <p>William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116</p>
</div><p> </p><p>When Anthony arrived in front of Ezra’s shop, he was full of doubts. He wasn’t sure how to do it; inviting Ezra to the restaurant had been quite a process. He hesitated for a long time before taking the step and offering to come and have dinner with him tonight, in a small but very well-known place. In memory of Ezra’s smile, following his proposal, Anthony felt his heart racing again. He took a slight breath and looked at his reflection in the rearview mirror. He had cut his hair recently in order to look less neglected and he had to admit that it didn’t go too badly; for the occasion, he had made an effort to dress and wore a black shirt, jeans more elegant than usual, and new and waxed shoes. When he was certain that everything was going well, he put his glasses on his nose to give himself some composure, opened the door of his car, and pushed the still open door of Ezra’s shop.</p><p>The little bell rang and Anthony heard a noise on the first floor, then steps in the back staircase. He didn’t have to wait very long to see his friend appear, as charming as usual. Ezra’s smile was already on his lips when he moved forward enthusiastically in his direction.</p><p>“Good evening Anthony! What a lovely shirt, it suits you perfectly… Oh. You had your hair cut?”<br/>
“You unmasked me!” He said with a small smile that he wanted to be amused but which proved to be especially nervous.</p><p>Ezra approached and passed a hand through Anthony’s silky black curls, who remained perfectly still for fear of seeing him go away.</p><p>“It looks great on you.”<br/>
“Y-Yeah. Uh… You’re not bad yourself,” he said in a hurry.</p><p><em>Not bad</em>, the word was weak. Ezra was, as always, very elegant. He wore a cream-coloured suit surmounted by a slightly old bow tie but which suited him so well that he did not waste anything. As usual, his blue eyes were overflowing with joy and malice and a simple eye contact was enough for Anthony to feel better, more confident and less nervous.</p><p>"You are very elegant," he corrected, "Are you ready to go?"<br/>
“Absolutely ready.”</p><p>With these words, they came out of the shop and Ezra took care to shut up before getting into Anthony’s car. When they started, Anthony took care not to exceed the speed limits (which he usually did). The ride was relatively short, but pleasant, and once arrived, Anthony opened the door to Ezra and extended his arm.</p><p>“If you will follow me…” he invited him. Ezra smothered a small laugh before going into the game and grabbed his arm.<br/>
“What a gentleman...”</p><p>Anthony did not contradict him and just smiled before accompanying Ezra to Claridge’s, a very popular restaurant.<br/>
Usually, Anthony never ate at the restaurant - or on rare occasions (so rare that he could barely remember). He had therefore inquired about the London establishments and this one seemed to him perfect for a first rendez-vous. The place would surely please Ezra: he looked refined, delicate, and the menu enticing. Anthony soon realized Ezra’s greed, his pleasure in eating varied dishes, and his enthusiasm in discovering new flavours, so he hoped he had been right.</p><p>“Anthony…” whispered Ezra as they entered the hall. </p><p>Anthony turned his head in his direction after removing his glasses from his free, nervous hand. Didn’t he like it? But his friend’s face shone with happiness and pleasure, and immediately Anthony’s shoulders slackened and his heart began to beat at great speed against his chest. </p><p>They left their jacket and a waiter brought them to their table. Anthony kept his eyes on Ezra - he couldn’t help it. His gaze was sparkling and his smile shone as he looked around them with enthusiasm and wonder.</p><p>“It’s beautiful, Anthony!' he exclaimed, drawing attention to Anthony. </p><p>Anthony turned his eyes slightly but could not help smiling, delighted that his choice suited him so well. </p><p>“Yeah, that’s not bad.” </p><p>Next to him, Ezra snorted and placed his hand on Anthony’s to pat him with affection. </p><p>“I will teach you other expressions to express your enthusiasm one day, my dear.”<br/>
“What, my way of speaking doesn’t suit you?” replied Anthony, rolling his eyes, falsely annoyed.<br/>
“Oh yes, it’s lovely.”<br/>
“Uh. I’m not <em>lovely.</em>”<br/>
“Of course.”</p><p>Anthony made a slight grin to support his reprobation but Ezra seemed delighted, and that’s all Anthony asked.</p><p>The evening promised to be exquisite. Yet, while they were looking at the menu, he felt a little guilty. As he approached Ezra, Anthony felt that he had made a mistake, that he had touched with his finger a light that was a little too bright, a little too strong, a happiness that he had never considered. Something else held his enthusiasm too. A form of sadness, of pain, which took hold of him at the most unexpected moments when he spent time with Ezra. He couldn’t explain it, but it scared him. </p><p>If he added this reserve to his chaotic life, he sometimes doubted what this relationship had to offer to both of them. And yet, they were sitting there, both of them, and every smile of Ezra, every gesture, every little exclamation as he showed him a dish that he liked on the menu, gave Anthony the impression of floating on a small cloud in a world apart. Ezra softened him up so much that he felt sometimes sick. </p><p>“Everything looks delicious. What are you going to take?” asked Ezra, raising his nose from the menu. Anthony, who had not yet thought this, skimmed through menu:<br/>
“Confit eggplant,” he said at random.<br/>
“Hum. Very good choice! I think I’ll take the sole miller with the potatoes and the beans.”</p><p>Anthony nodded. To tell the truth, he was not very hungry, he had never had a big appetite and did not particularly like to eat. He was one of those people who took their meals out of necessity but were not particularly happy to taste any food, and for whom a hamburger and a lacquered duck were equivalent.</p><p>“But I... I hope it’s not too expensive.”</p><p>Anthony turned his head towards him, surprised. He told Ezra that he would invite him, why on earth would he take him to a place he couldn’t afford? His chaotic life did not mean that he had nothing aside, and he spent almost nothing, except to maintain his Bentley. Did he look so miserable? He curled up a bit but kept a loose, cool air. He didn’t want to appear troubled, not tonight. Not on their first real date.</p><p>“Take what you want, I wouldn’t have invited you here if I didn’t have the means to do it, okay? Don’t worry about it.”</p><p>Ezra gave him a small contrite smile and put his card down. </p><p>“Of course, excuse me, it wasn’t very polite of me.”<br/>
“No need for excuses,' mumbled Anthony. “I’ve seen their desserts on the internet, I think you’ll love them.”<br/>
Ezra’s smile was like a caress on his cheek.<br/>
“Thank you, Anthony.”<br/>
“You will thank me when you have tasted.”<br/>
“You really took the time to look for this restaurant, didn’t you?”<br/>
Anthony looked down on his hands.<br/>
“Yeah, well, you know, I’m not really the restaurant type, I had to find out.”</p><p>Ezra’s laughter resounded in his ears like the sweetest music and Anthony smiled. He straightened his head and winked at him.</p><p>Until now, Anthony had never imagined that he could one day lead a stable life; he did his best but knew that despite his efforts, he would never really be seated somewhere, that he would always be on the move. Living his dreams seemed to him a bit ridiculous, he had stopped having them the day he left home. He had known a few hellish, had let himself be dragged into rather dark stories. He had never intended to get involved but ended up with a criminal record. It was only after he almost went to prison that he got his life back on track, moved away from these bad people and tried to make his way elsewhere. He had since met other friends but had never really attached himself to them, powered by various fears. </p><p>Ezra was the first one he <em>really</em> tried to make an effort with. His aura appeased him, and he even managed to believe that he could do something good in his life. On the other hand, dragging him into his personal problems seemed selfish. He did not want this part of himself to appear, this little lost child who was still searching his way. Was he really the one Ezra needed?</p><p>Despite his dark thoughts, the evening was pleasant. Ezra seemed to enjoy the meal and spoke three quarters of the time. Anthony had also noticed this in his new friend: when he felt good, he could have a whole conversation. Anthony did not complain, he did not speak much himself, or generally did not know what to say, and Ezra always had interesting anecdotes to tell. He often talked about his father, his books, and certain plays. Anthony had planned to take him there for a next date. He wanted to take him wherever he could smile in that special, luminous way. He wanted to make him happy. He wanted to take the stars out of the sky for him. </p><p>
  <em>Whatever that angel wants, I’ll give it to him.</em>
</p><p>The check paid, Anthony walks Ezra home. In the car, the silence settled and the drive was made without a word, which made Anthony extremely uncomfortable. He suddenly felt like he had screwed everything up, as usual. No doubt he should have been more attentive, more loquacious too, during the meal. Ezra, if he didn’t think he was boring, would probably think he didn’t care about his stories. Which was wrong, of course. Anthony didn’t remember being so interested in anyone one day. No one had ever occupied his every thought either. That was the problem. Everything was confused, everything was <em>going too fast</em>. That’s why Anthony, once Ezra drove back to his door, did not linger. He felt Ezra’s gaze upon him, and the discomfort that continued with the silence.</p><p>“Well,” began Ezra.<br/>
Anthony grumbled a few words, cutting short Ezra’s attempt, and threw a: “Yeah. See you around.” Before turning around and leaving Ezra standing in front of his shop.<br/>
<em>What the fuck are you doing? The evening was great! Say good night. Compliment him. Tell him you look forward to seeing him again!</em></p><p>He felt a hand grabbing his arm. Anthony turned with a gesture, troubled to find himself facing Ezra and his worried face.</p><p>“Anthony, w-wait! What’s the matter? Did I make you uncomfortable during dinner? Whatever I said, or did I hurt you… I’m really sorry about that. I didn’t think…”<br/>
"No!" exclaimed Anthony, whose face immediately softened. He could not bear to see Ezra torture her mind. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t say anything wrong. On the contrary, I really enjoy talking to you, and all your stories. The night was fun, don’t get me wrong. It’s just… I… I just don’t know about… Ngh. I don’t know how to do that stuff.” concludes him.</p><p>He expected Ezra to step back, perhaps leave, but Ezra smiled at him. A smile probably a little sad, a little hurt, but an understanding smile. He approached Anthony slightly and came to place a kiss on his cheek. This simple gesture was enough to confuse him and his heart ran wild.</p><p>“I understand, and I’m not asking you for anything but what you’re willing to offer me. I’ll be happy to see you again for coffee, or to go for a walk in the park to feed the ducks. We have plenty of time, don’t we? I would be honored if we could be friends.”</p><p>Confused, Anthony laid his eyes on Ezra. He seemed so sincere that his gentleness was like a balm to his heart. Anthony was taken by the curious desire to hold him, to embrace him until the end of time. He closed his eyes for a few seconds without being able to sketch the slightest gesture before smiling, softened by the man who was facing him. </p><p><em>I am truly lucky to have met him.</em> Taking his courage with both hands to make a proper apology, he went on to say:</p><p>“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give you a bad impression. Every moment I spend with you is a very pleasant moment… It’s just... I’m not used to it.”</p><p>Anthony offered him a small contrite smile before placing a kiss on his forehead. This simple contact electrified him, and this time he really nearly took him in his arms. He needed to feel it against him. To keep it. To protect him. Ezra gave him an ecstatic look before closing his eyes, as if he was taking full advantage of this moment to keep it in memory. <em>He’s adorable. Why does he have to be so adorable?</em></p><p>“Thank you for the evening, Anthony. It was exquisite. I love every moment with you as well and I… I hope to see you again soon.”<br/>
“Very quickly. It’s a promise.”</p><p>Ezra gave him a radiant smile before stepping back to the door of his shop. Anthony watched him walk away with his hands in his pockets. When Ezra gave him one last little nod, Anthony nodded too. He watched him disappear behind the door before giving a sigh. Finally, everything went well, didn’t it? Ezra understood his fears. Nothing had to change, after all. Anthony stood for a few minutes, facing the bookshop, while he saw the lights on upstairs, and then went home.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>Two days later</em>
  </p>
</div>For the past two days, Ezra was busy taking inventory of the bookshop. The list was long and complicated, and since he had never been very good with computers, word processing did not make things any better. It all took him a long time. But, in the end, it was perhaps not worse; taking concrete care prevented him from thinking about Anthony. Anthony who occupied all his thoughts, from morning to night. Their last meeting had left him a mixed feeling; the evening had been excellent, and Anthony was very good company, attentive, always quick to react to some amusing comments, and they already interact like two old friends.<p>Yet Ezra also felt his reluctance, his doubts, and felt as if he was walking in balance on a thread. Anthony was like a wild animal, a frightened little cat that could run away at any moment. And this idea was very disturbing to him; what if Anthony, one day, did not come back?</p><p>Ezra had not known him for a long time, two months was nothing in an entire life, yet his presence had already become familiar, almost necessary. They saw each other quite regularly since their first meeting, walked around, had tea. Anthony worked a lot and in a very irregular way, which sometimes made their interviews complicated, but they always managed to see each other once a week.</p><p>This meeting at the restaurant had made Ezra extremely nervous. Of course, everything went well, but he was afraid of making a mistake, being too clumsy and ruining everything. During the meal, however, a form of calm had replaced his feverishness. He was very comfortable in the presence of Anthony and felt that he could talk to him about absolutely everything - he regretted a little his incessant chatter, but it did not seem to displease Anthony.</p><p>A sigh came out of Ezra’s lips. Perhaps he should have talked about this date to Anathema, the young girl was always of wise counsel ; but a part of him wanted to keep this special and secret relationship for a while longer, time to see what the result was. It was not so much the lack of certainty that led Ezra to remain silent, but rather a form of modesty, the desire to preserve the special and abrupt bond that was forged between them.</p><p>The bell rang and Ezra mumbled a few words in his beard. Perhaps he should have closed for the day. He wiped his hands and dusted his clothes before bypassing a few shelves to face the newcomer.</p><p>“Hi, Ezra.”</p><p>Immediately, Ezra’s face lit up and the frenetic beating of his heart almost hurt him.</p><p>“Anthony! What a nice surprise. Hello! What brings you here?”<br/>
“I was in the neighborhood, and I wanted to give you a little surprise. A-a good surprise I hope… And… Uh.” He hawked before taking off his glasses and looking indifferent. “It’s almost tea time. If you’re free, I know a nice place.”</p><p>Ezra’s smile widened and he approached Anthony. He would have liked to hold him. This surprise visit went straight to his heart and touched him infinitely, especially after the doubts that Anthony had expressed the other night. But he just smiled at him.</p><p>“I’ll give it a try! I just have to finish packing these boxes and I’ll be all yours.”<br/>
“Need help?”<br/>
“Oh, no, I don’t want to ask you that. It’s pretty messy.”<br/>
“Come on, like I’m afraid of that. It’ll be a lot quicker for two of us, don’t you think?”<br/>
“If you insist, my dear, I cannot say no.”</p><p>Anthony had already rolled up his sleeves, ready to give him a hand. Together, they quickly put away Ezra’s old books.</p><p>'The merchant of Venice? I did not know this play by Shakespeare.'<br/>
“Really? It’s one of his comedies.”<br/>
“Ah.”</p><p>Ezra laughed a little before taking the book from his hands and putting it next to the others.</p><p>“I’ll invite you someday, I’m sure you’d like it.”<br/>
“I believe you. So that was it?”<br/>
“Yes, everything is…”</p><p>The bell rang and the eyebrows of Ezra gathered as long as he suddenly looked very old. Anthony could not help laughing despite the angry look that his friend threw at him. Bored, the bookseller stepped into the shop and took a courteous look.</p><p>“Oh, my dear, I didn’t expect you to come.”</p><p>Anthony approached behind him. The client was a young woman with pulled back hair and round glasses that made her face harmonious. She hugged Ezra before kissing him on both cheeks.</p><p>“I was in the neighborhood! We haven’t seen each other for a while. Oh. Hello.” she said to Anthony. “I didn’t know you had visitors.”<br/>
“Well… This is… One… Customer.” Ezra glanced at Anthony, who slowly put on his sunglasses before turning his back to look at the shelves without seeing them.</p><p>A customer. <em>Yeah.</em> Anthony didn’t know who that chick was, but they seemed close. He wouldn’t say he was jealous, but <em>who was she</em>? He grabbed a random book to flip through it, annoyed by the interruption. Of course Ezra must have had company. Friends. He was a charming man, after all. Anthony was even surprised that he wasn’t in a relationship. Wait. Was he? Anthony had not even asked him the question, as if his celibacy had been obvious.</p><p>“Are you free to go for coffee?”<br/>
“Actually, my dear, I’m not. I’m sorry you had to drive all the way out here to get turned down by me, but, you know, I have to finish my inventory, and then I have— Oh. Well, a couple of things planned, three times nothing...”<br/>
“Okay. It doesn’t matter, I should have warned you, but you’re so rarely on your phone... Anyway, I have a few errands to run. This will be an opportunity. Let me know when you’re free!”<br/>
“Sure, let me just check…”</p><p>Anthony wasn’t looking at them, he was just flipping through the damn book without reading a word of it. He heard Ezra agitating near his office and then coming back to the young woman.</p><p>“Next Monday, at 6 p.m. for dinner. I invite you, of course.”<br/>
“Perfect, so it’s a date, angel!”</p><p>Ezra snorted and the door of the shop closed. Crowley’s heart was pounding. He didn’t understand all the emotions that were going through him. He refused to let them invade, but there were many, and they hurt. He quietly closed the book before putting it away without daring to turn back towards Ezra.</p><p>“Sorry for …”<br/>
“Don’t worry. Anyway, I didn’t find a very interesting book to buy from you, I’m not a very good customer.”<br/>
“Yes, I.... I should have said something else, I realize that. It’s just…”<br/>
“You don’t have to explain yourself.” Anthony didn’t want to hear his explanations. He wanted to leave. Instead, he asked nonchalantly with his arms folded. “A friend of yours?”<br/>
“Yes. Her name is Anathema, she’s a very good friend.”<br/>
“She looks nice. Uh… Okay. I didn’t want to interrupt your inventory. I’ll come back another time.”</p><p>Anthony dipped his hands in his pockets. <em>Act as if nothing had happened.</em> He went to the door, his face impassive and relaxed as if the whole situation did not matter.</p><p>“Anthony, I…”<br/>
“See you later, <em>angel.</em>” he wanted to tease him, use the same ridiculous nickname that Anathema had given him (well, ok, maybe he was a little offended), but the word seemed so familiar to him, that he stopped clean, his hand on the door handle, the breath short.</p><p>There was a silence. A long silence during which only the wood of the old bookshop cracked at times. Neither Anthony nor Ezra made the slightest gesture, both petrified. <em>Angel.</em> This word resounded in Anthony’s mind, dragging him into a whirlwind of despair. </p><p><em>Angel. Breathe, angel. For me. Please. Breathe. For someone’s sake ! Don’t leave me.</em> The smell of smoke. The heat of the flames. Fear. Agony. Despair.</p><p>“A-Anthony…” Ezra broke the silence, and his voice was full of tears. This sound turned the heart of Anthony who, full of remorse, turned in his direction. Ezra’s eyes shone but did not overflow. He took a contrite look.<br/>
“Excuse me,” he said. Anthony felt like he was apologizing to him every time they saw each other. He bit his tongue. <em>You can’t think before you get carried away, can you?</em> “I...I better go.”</p><p>Ezra’s hand closed on his arm before he could leave. Anthony froze again. He swallows, overwhelmed by the same desire: to hold him against him to protect him. But to protect him from what?</p><p>“Excuse <em>me</em>. I should have introduced you properly. I’m just… See, I wish I could… Maybe it’s stupid, but… I wish I could keep this between us for a little while longer.”<br/>
“No, uh. I get it. The feeling is shared. I don’t necessarily want it to get complicated and everything.” Anthony laughed a little and, under the lost air of Ezra, he put a hand on his arm, hesitating. Ezra crossed the distance and placed his head on his shoulder. “Ngk.”</p><p>Anthony was at first unable to move, motionless, his heart beating. They had never been so close and yet this embrace seemed familiar, natural. The young man put his hands on Ezra’s back and suddenly felt appeased. It was a miracle, or something like that, right? To feel so well, in a fraction of seconds, to feel welcomed, desired.</p><p>They did not say a word during this silent exchange; as if they were regaining one another a little strength, as if they were rejuvenating themselves. There was no need for words. Ezra closed his arms around Anthony and they remained thus for long minutes; but the minutes did not seem sufficient to them.</p><p>“I missed you,” Anthony finally whispered, not knowing why.<br/>
“I missed you too,” Ezra replied.</p><p>And he didn’t know why either.</p>
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